Nissin Lámen Hot Calabresa

As harmless as the packaging may seem (or maybe not since it has a 3/3 spice rating), this instant ramen packs quite a taste punch. To your taste buds. For you to taste. With your mouth.
The flavoring packet will release a seriously powerful stench of pepper when opened, but, after preparing it, it gives the pasta a great color and scent, not to mention taste.
As far as spiciness goes, this starts out quite spicy, but after eating it for a while, or if you're used to spicy food, it turns out to be very delightful. And besides the spiciness, the ramen still has a nice meaty flavor to it, wrapping it up into a fine swirl of tastes.

Rating:
Final thoughts: While not the spiciest thing you'll ever eat, if you like spice but don't want to burn your mouth and you still want some taste with it, this is a great choice.

La Fabrica del Taco Sauces - Palermo Soho, Buenos Aires, Argentina

Tonight, as a sort of celebration for me getting a job we went to a local taco shop to get our mexichowder on. We usually make our own tacos, with special condiments and shit (spices are my strong suit)... but it was too special of a night to bother with cooking. My friend Miauro raved and raved about this joint for weeks, so we decided to give it a shot.
A lovely mexican themed place, luchador masks, mariachi music, actual mexicans tending tables, et al. The food was tasty, if not lacking; totally not worth their price. But that's not the point, no siree.

They had these little coke bottles filled with a weirdly colored substance on every table, each with a little label. There were three:
A) Mild spice: "For argentinians"
B) Regular spice: "For true mexicans"
C) Really fucking hot spice: "For those who dare"
As soon as I read the labels, my gut reaction was that of the Argentinian Macho "Peh, so we get a washed down, pussy sauce? As if we couldn't handle some REAL heat? Fucking mexican assholes, they want daring? I'll show them daring!". But then my gourmet instinct kicked in, so i decided to taste each sauce individually, from lightest to strongest. I grabbed some nachos, and soaked them in the concoctions.
My verdict?

A) ... the fuck? No spice, no taste, nothing! If I wanted something hotter, I could've drank water! How hummiliating. -
B) True Mexicans do know their sauces! Balanced spice:taste ratio, a delicious bouquet of peppers, with ocoto ajíes, cayena pepper, and some tomato for good measure. Maybe some mustard? Not -really- spicy, but tasty as all get out. - , 5/5 tongues for taste.
C) Hot? Indubitably, this was the hottest sauce alright. But here's the deal: the heat covered the taste. I was basically chewing on a piece of crunchy cardboard. Fuck if I know what pepper it was based on... It seems like "those who dare" already killed their tastebuds with better stuff, so they didn't bother making it good. -

Final thoughts: Lame tacos, 2 subpar sauces... but the only good one made me wanna put on a zarape and kidnap the cook.

-L33T AsbestosPalate

Pringles Xtreme Flamin' Chilli Sauce

Jesus holy fucking CHRIST

Okay, so, Pringles Xtreme FLAMIN' CHILLI SAUCE. I'm not really too fond of using "XTREME" in product names, but, jesus christ, if there's something that deserves it, this must be it.
When you open this tube, you will feel the stench of PURE PEPPERS, burning your eyes into a fine watery crisp. It has a spice meter on the label, going "fire", "two fires", "big fire" and "motherfucking fire extinguisher". Guess which one this falls into. Yeah. Fire extinguisher.
While I'm typing this post, my tongue is enduring the most pain it ever has from a snack. At first, these Pringles taste like any other, with its recognizable chip flavor, but, fast forwarding 5 seconds, you're in for a world of hurt. The key spice burns through your tastebuds while leaving a distinct onion and mustard-ish trace, bringing you to your knees with flavor.
In closing, eating one of these will make your tongue hell, and you will be the satan.

Rating:
Final thoughts: This snack is INCREDIBLY spicy, but it probably still loses in comparison with actual pepper condiments and such.

Tongue Warriors

A blog where we eat spicy shit and whine for a while about how hot it feels.

Starring Syniphas Silvertongue and L33T Asbestospalate.